The latest episode of Let’s Try This Again finds host B. Simone sitting down with Brittney Moses, a psychology graduate, women’s coach, and mental health content creator, for a thoughtful and honest discussion about people-pleasing and self-abandonment. The conversation centers on how many women, particularly Black women, are conditioned to prioritize others at their own expense and taught to equate self-sacrifice with strength, even when it leads to emotional exhaustion and loss of identity.
Moses breaks down the deeper psychology behind this behavior, describing people-pleasing as a nervous system response often linked to trauma. Known as the “fawn response,” it’s a coping mechanism where individuals make themselves smaller to avoid conflict or rejection. The brain, she explains, processes emotional pain in the same area as physical pain, which is why rejection and heartbreak can feel just as real and intense as physical wounds. Over time, this need for safety can turn into chronic self-suppression and a constant pursuit of external approval.
Drawing from both professional insight and personal experience, Moses shares how her own path has been anything but conventional. She became a mother at 18, married young, and later returned to UCLA as a single mother to complete her degree in psychology. Her story highlights the importance of rejecting rigid social timelines, the pressure to marry, have children, or achieve success by a certain age, and instead embracing a journey that unfolds on its own terms.
Now remarried and working as a women’s coach, Moses emphasizes that asserting boundaries is not about being harsh or dismissive but about including oneself in the equation. She encourages women to replace guilt with clarity and to question where their “shoulds” come from, whether imposed by family, culture, or past trauma, and to recognize that their needs matter as much as anyone else’s.
In the conversation, Moses also opens up about living with ADHD, a diagnosis she received in her 30s. Like many women, she learned how often masking and self-editing can lead to burnout. She advocates for building relationships and communities that allow authenticity without the pressure to perform or conform.
Addressing faith and purpose, Moses reflects on how even spiritual ambition can become a form of performance when driven by anxiety or comparison. She urges listeners to realign their motivation toward peace, not perfection, and to trust that a purpose-centered life doesn’t require constant striving to prove worth.
Her message is one of self-restoration, of recognizing that life is not about earning rest or love through relentless effort but remembering that enough has already been done. The conversation ultimately serves as a reminder that fulfillment begins when we stop abandoning ourselves for acceptance and start living from a place of truth, trust, and alignment.
