In her appearance on the Angie Martinez IRL podcast, Eve opens up about her time with the Ruff Ryders, the challenges of being a woman in a male-dominated rap game, and the personal evolution that followed her early success.
The conversation kicks off with Angie taking Eve back to her origins in the industry, specifically her breakthrough with the Ruff Ryders. Eve affirms that her entire career and life trajectory owe much to that experience. She gives immense credit to Dee and Waah (Darren and Towa), co-founders of Ruff Ryders, calling them her “coaches” who pushed her through what she describes as “boot camp.” There were no shortcuts for her as the only woman in the crew, no special treatment. If the guys were pulling all-nighters in the studio, so was she. If bags needed carrying, she did it herself. Eve had to prove her lyrical prowess to earn their respect, standing strong in street ciphers and studio sessions until they recognized her as one of them.
She recalls navigating that space as a young woman surrounded by aggressive, alpha-male energy, calling it both a challenge and a learning experience. Coming from Philadelphia, a city she credits with shaping her “feisty” nature, Eve had long been comfortable hanging with the guys. Her upbringing, marked by tomboy tendencies and resilience, prepared her for the rough edges of the hip-hop world.
Eve and Angie connect over how being around men all the time required building a kind of emotional armor. Eve admits that for years, she didn’t even realize the extent of the self-protection mechanisms she’d developed. It wasn’t until later, while writing her book and reflecting on her past, that she began to understand how these habits impacted her emotionally. She talks candidly about how she used alcohol to numb feelings and anxiety, topics that were never discussed in early interviews or industry conversations.
As the conversation deepens, Eve explores how this emotional armor extended beyond her professional life into her personal relationships. She reveals that even after meeting her now-husband, whom she’s been with for 15 years, she initially struggled with vulnerability. Her hyper-independence and suspicion, born from years of self-preservation, caused friction. She describes scenarios where she’d jump to conclusions or react harshly before learning to lean on her partner, accept emotional support, and, as she puts it, “be soft.”
When Angie asks what finally made her shed that armor, Eve reflects that there wasn’t a single moment, it was more a growing awareness of how unnecessary it had become. She realized she was safe now, no longer needing to be on guard all the time. That insight, she says, came slowly, through growth, mistakes, and learning to trust again.
Throughout the interview, Eve is raw, funny, and profoundly honest. She and Angie share a powerful dialogue about womanhood, resilience, and unlearning survival tactics once they’ve served their purpose. Eve’s journey, from gritty studio battles with DMX and the Ruff Ryders to emotional breakthroughs in her marriage, is a testament to both the strength and the softness women in hip-hop carry.
